OMG these are so funny!!!!!!

via The Douglas Kelley Show List:

Dear Most Beloved and Highly Esteemed DKS List Subscribers,

Welcome to The Douglas Kelley Show List


Welcome to the program. Yes we have openings, we'll get to those in a minute, but we first we begin for your amusement with The Washington Post's winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers were asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. And. The results for The Washington Post's Style Invitational, which asked readers to take any word, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

A. Winning neologisms- Readers supply alternative meanings for common words:

* 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
* 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
* 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
* 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
* 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
* 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
* 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
* 8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
* 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
* 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
* 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
* 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
* 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
* 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
* 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
* 16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


Washington Post's Style Invitational (Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.) winners:

* Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
* Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
* Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
* Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
* Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
* Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
* Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
* Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
* Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
* Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
* Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
* Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
* Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
* Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
* (And the pick of the literature) Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


If anyone can think of any art related words and definitions in the style of this contest, please send them to me at dks@think.net. I'm sure they exist, I know because I use them all the time, but as soon as I slaughter the language I forget them.

I think I like this one

On persistence...

Nathalie Chanin of Alabama Chanin is one of the most interesting people. I love to check out her book list and blog and while she doesn't post often, what she does post is always stunning. This post, a video from Ira Glass (another long time favorite from Chicago) is no exception:

red-orange

Another brown one...

Another one...

Or...

Bookhou thoughts...

What I am working on...

This is my contribution for Titles 6 called "How to Fold the Spit"--

I used a journal to look at the Leslieville Spit, a small narrow stretch of land in Toronto's east end composed of non-toxic construction debris and accidental wild life sanctuary. The man-made site is composed of strange shaped bits of wire and concrete as well as natural life: the area is home to 400 plant life species, 300 birds, 50 types of butterflies, reptiles, and mammals. My book is a sketch, an object, a map, and like 'the Spit' is also composed of non-toxic debris.






The project, begun in 2007, includes book-based works made by artists, architects, and designers. Titles is curated by the wayupwaydown collective (Yam Lau, Sunny Kerr, Tania Ursomarzo) to "set into motion the itinerant exhibition structures and maneuvers. It is the mandate of the collective to facilitate tenuous and fluid relations between exhibitions, artworks, and communities. The invitations to participants are extended on the basis of respect, which already entails artistic merits, friendship and trust."




Titles 6 will be on view at the Musee d'art de Joliette, Quebec in January. The show will travel to the Maclaren Art Centre in Barrie in fall 2010.








Closing party of Titles 5 at Art Metropole in Toronto in November 2009...

Kind of cool...

from Felix Salmon, Economics blogger for Reuters

via ArtFagCity

No, it’s not Wolfgang Tillmans: it’s actually a photo from the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter of dust devils on the Martian surface.

Kind of funny...

The Top 20 Most Powerless People in the Art World

• by The Editors on October 28, 2009

Another take on the artworld by Hyperallergenic

A few weeks ago Art Review announced the Top 100 power brokers in the art world but we thought they missed the real story. So Hyperallergic has released its own list of the people who have never received their moment in the sun.

We present “The Top 20 Most Powerless People in the Art World!”

We haven't seen him for a while, which begs the question,

1 – Everyone entirely unknown to Hans Ulrich Obrist – If the kingmaker isn’t on your cell phone, well, at least your mother is.

2 – The guy in the bunny outfit who year after year protested in front of Gagosian’s 25th Street gallery — hey buddy, how’s the career?

3 – Independent curators without trust funds – There’s a saying, “No trust, no love.”

4 – Artists who can’t speak English, French, German, or Spanish. While the world is filled with approximately 6,800 languages, artwork must adhere to the linguistic realities of economics.

5 – That man at all the openings who might be homeless. Wine at gallery openings may be the art world’s only form of social service to people outside their realm, but hey, it’s something.

6...more...

Happy New Year Happy New Decade

Happy Birthday Haruki Murakami!

"A certain type of perfection can only be realized through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect."
— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)